Lucky to Have a Job…

It’s Monday. Today I ran into a coworker while taking the elevator down to grab lunch in the building cafeteria. After completing the round of  “what’s new?” small-talk, she told me that my former coworker got laid off from his most recent gig at a competing firm. He had been laid-off from my current firm about 4 years ago, after the big market crash. We parted ways, and I began to think about this person and how he’s somehow landed back in the stress of job searching again.

I couldn’t help but think to myself “I guess I’m lucky to even have a job”.  As much as I hate hearing this phrase, particularly from my parents, I started to wonder if this is what life has become. Maintaining a sub-par, dead-end, and sometimes demoralizing job just because I have one? What happened to the days of challenging myself and achieving and growing? My “career” has stagnated, to put it lightly. I am now in a job that is so mindless a monkey could do it. I am bored 3/4 of the time. I feel like my life is being wasted away every single second I am sitting in my dismal cubicle in this dismal office.

Before accepting this “lateral” position transfer (let’s be real…this was a demotion), I had been interviewing with outside firms. The positions they were offering seemed challenging. I was excited by them. But something inside me kept me from making the move. The first time it was because I was so busy planning my wedding that I thought, why make a move right now when I am able to coast here and maintain a low-profile? I could take long lunches for dress fittings, or leave work early for vendor appointments. That was almost two years ago.

Exactly this time of year, one year ago, I was interviewing with a firm and got an offer for a more challenging position, but the commute canceled out the modest increase in salary.

So here I am today, feeling invisible, insignificant, and worthless. I shouldn’t let my job define me. But let’s be honest…I spend at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, sitting here. That’s the majority of my time. Shouldn’t I try to find something that makes me happier?

Easier said than done. Firstly, I don’t really know what I want to do in my “career” anymore. If I knew what I wanted, I could map out a plan and go for it.

Secondly, if I make a career transition into something new, I will take a paycut and undoubtedly start at the bottom.

And C, I haven’t gotten too many call-backs from recruiters as of late.

And do I really want to be stressed and challenged, when I can cruise over here? Keep a low-profile? And be comfortable with the familiar?

Lucky to have a job? You betcha. But my spirit is dead and I’m extremely miserable. And that definitely spills over into my personal life, as much as I try to prevent that from happening.

Something’s got to change. Something’s got to give…

One thought on “Lucky to Have a Job…

  1. Hello lovely lady, I’m writing to you from Cetic Cornwall in the UK.
    Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting on my “Shitty Job” post.
    The story behind my currently amazingly great shitty job is that I chose it specifically as a bill paying, free time creating, means to an end. I chose my current UBER shitty job based totally on the hours worked, the physicality of it and the lack of brain needed to do it.

    So now I have paid bills, no need for a gym membership and a crap load of time and mental energy to spend writing.

    Formerly I was a “Business Office Manager” for a small business, It was 9-5 with sedentary arse behind keyboard and using a lot of the grey matter enriching others. As a result I had no time or energy left for writing or living in a way that gave my imagination space and my brain a chance to work for me after hours.

    I decided to become a hospital cleaner for not that much less pay as hospitals here pay very well.

    Yes, I swab corridors, empty bins and polish windows and I am by no means an impressive career woman ( I can’t even pretend now ha ha)

    But I also laugh with Porters, get a six hour work out for free and don’t have any massive responsibility to bear.

    I’m free in my simple job and I go home when it is finished switched off to work and I write.
    I double around for six hours solid from watching all the stresses and strains of the clinical staff and I don’t envy them.

    I am a member of a very “lowly” but interesting team of people from all sorts of backgrounds, they are doing the job for lots of different life reasons.

    Some have degrees and are studying further, some are mothers who need to be home for the kids and just want to earn some no stress, fun money. Some have learning difficulty and this is their place where they are valued and can earn and be respected.

    I took the shitty job because it gives me freedom to take all of my “smarts” home.
    I’ve reached a point where that is important.

    I also live in a very beautiful part of the world, that does a lot to help me feel good about a shitty job and driving to work at 6.00am I see buzzards hunting and foxes and badgers and rabbits… and the mist is all across the fields….

    Put your finger on what you need from your job and your free time then don’t flinch from where that leads.

    You’ll find your way.

    Congrats on long lunch-breaks and finding a man you love.

    Thank you for sharing your blog X Jolie R

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